Renungkanlah

Site asal: PELITA HIDUP 3: "


RENUNGKANLAH
Lagu: Copyright Controlled
Lirik: Copyright Controlled

Rasa cinta pasti ada
Pada makhluk yang bernyawa
Sejak lama sampai kini
Tetap suci dan abadi
Takkan hilang selamanya
Sampai datang akhir masa
Takkan hilang selamanya
Sampai datang akhir masa
Renungkanlah

Perasaan insan sama
Ingin mencinta dan dicinta
Bukan ciptaan manusia
Tapi takdir yang kuasa
Janganlah engkau mungkiri
Segala yang Tuhan beri "

somebody please save me

[mood: okay, i guess]
[listening to: my own thought]
[current project: explaining]


This is the conclusions that I derived from what I've been thinking about while I was on the bridge (Penang Bridge) just now...

- I'm not ready to love anybody in any special way.
- I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling at the same time.
- Friends are my priority. Special-friend is not in the list yet.
- I'm ego, yeah. And I'm not melt.

:(
:(
:(

I was duped

[mood: pissed off]
[listening to: linkin park]
[current project: NIL. My PC blew]

I was darn shocked just now when I access my own blog. (This Blog.) It looks like some damn trojan has been messing with my Blogger cookies. This is really a total screw-up of privacy. DAAAAMMMIIITTTT!!!!

Now this one PC will be reformatted. It has nothing mine, anyway. Bye bye bye.

Fw: [Fwd: FW: Great Story.....]

An email from Nad... a great story,indeed.

From: 

To: 

Subject: Great Story.....

Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 11:10:20 +0800

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...


A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.


He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.


The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."


The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.


Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, children, health, friends, and your favourite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff.


If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."


Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.


The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that
no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple
of cups of coffee with a friend."


Hope you are smiling now!

I am Missing

[mood: i'm hungry]
[listening to: my own voice]
[current project: server setup]

Today is quite a pleasant day. Tho there're still problems with the work I'm doing, I am making a significant progress today. Alas, there's still a problem tho, which is still stuck in my mind. Yeah. People to people communication. I am just not good at that. It's such a trouble to convey my message, I guess



Can you see the picture here? Is there me inside? Ahahaha. I am missing from the picture, but it's one of the scene that amused me. It really was.
Come to think of it, maybe it's better for me to be missing in everyone else's scenes as well, so that no trouble comes from me at all.

Darn. I'm losing myself here. I could be missing from my own life.

if i can get back a friend
by letting go half of my life
i'd do that
if that's what i've to pay
i'd pay
just dont take a friendship away
i've already lost a lot
i've lost a lot

i feel so terrible
it was like i am the one... "a friend that's drifting away".

don't you wanna have the continuation of the lines of words?
i do, but it hurts
even just by thinking, it does hurt
even by reading, i'm hurt

thanks for reminding me
and i still am with thee
tho i feel you're drifted apart
a friendship is still in my heart

I'd value friendship to my very best. But I am still not ready for more than that. I can be anyone's best friend (No... I'm not a dog, please) yet I am always at a distance. Sorry. I don't have any intention to break anyone's feeling. I'd try, if I could, to set the part which involves deep feeling aside but then, I am just a cretin on the face of the earth. Limited to whatever thing I can do, not every wish comes true.

I'm quite out of time now. People comes and go in my life. The same goes for me. I might be just another temporary stop in anyone's life.
Some people may just become more significant than the others. I may too.

I don't want to remember.
I don't want to forget.
I am missing... in my own thinking.

Would anyone care?

Scorpions - Soul Behind The Face Lyrics

Would you care for me if I was deaf and blind
Would you hear my voice if I was always quiet
Would you hold my hand if I was going to fall
Would you cry for me would you know my name at all

Would you be there if I was on the ground
Would you be my friend if no one was around
Would you hold me close if I was in the cold
Would you pray for me would you know my name at all

Would you care would you be there
For the soul behind the face
Would you love me for what I am

Would you care would you be there
For the soul behind the face
Would you love me for what I am

Would you care would you be there
For the soul behind the face
Would you love me for what I am

Would you care would you be there
For the soul behind the face
Would you love me for what I am

Would you love me for what I am
Would you love me for what I am
Would you love me for what I am


Music : Rudolf Schenker
Lyrics: Klaus Meine
Album: Pure Instinct

If I Could Turn Back Time, I'd Stay

[mood: i feel lame]
[listening to: my own keyboard clicks]
[current project: software repair]

Good morning to the blog and me,

This is a diary of me.
Written on a piece of [virtual] paper on the web.

I recalled a song by Aqua, "Turn Back Time".

The bolt reminds me I was there
The bolt reminds me I was there

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time
I would stay for the night

f only I could (if only I could, if only I could)
If only I could (if only I could, if only I could)
If only I could turn back time...

I'm in the brink of losing someone. Darn.

Ah well... if you could read this. Am I too technical?

Confused I am.

[mood: confused]
[listening to: nothing]
[current project: cut & paste]


[00:40] <Steelburn> then... feels like i'm talking to someone really different.
[00:40] <_seseorang_> apa yg diff?
[00:40] <Steelburn> the way you chat.
[00:41] <Steelburn> once... it was different.
[00:41] <_seseorang_> ok let me tell ya something
[00:41] <Steelburn> and the other day... tetiba lain.
[00:41] <_seseorang_> [_seseorang_] ingat u lain
[00:41] <Steelburn> okay.
[00:41] <_seseorang_> i mean u akan slalu with me
[00:41] <_seseorang_> but one day i realize
[00:41] <_seseorang_> u pun sama gak ngan org lain
[00:42] <Steelburn> macam mana sama ngan org lain?
[00:42] <_seseorang_> bz for me
[00:42] <Steelburn> n.. what made you think that i'll be always w/ u?
[00:42] <_seseorang_> u slalu dgr [_seseorang_] pot pet
[00:42] <_seseorang_> u slalu dgr [_seseorang_] merepek
[00:42] <Steelburn> :)
[00:42] <_seseorang_> but suddenly one day yg i memerlukan u dgr i merepek
[00:42] <_seseorang_> u bz
[00:42] <_seseorang_> so? i tanak rapat ngan u
[00:42] <Steelburn> i'd like to hear that again.
[00:43] <_seseorang_> coz i takut being lonely
[00:43] <Steelburn> [_seseorang_]...
[00:43] <Steelburn> okay.
[00:43] <Steelburn> now i understand...
[00:43] <Steelburn> now i understand your /quit messages.
[00:43] <Steelburn> the songs..
[00:43] <Steelburn> et al.
[00:43] <_seseorang_> my quit messages?
[00:43] <_seseorang_> why?
[00:43] <Steelburn> [_seseorang_] penah dengar citer saya tak?
[00:44] <Steelburn> of who i am?
[00:44] <_seseorang_> i dun have any idea who r u
[00:44] <_seseorang_> but last few days
[00:44] <_seseorang_> u ngan [_seseorang_]
[00:44] <_seseorang_> hehari i bercerita dgn u
[00:44] <Steelburn> :)
[00:44] <_seseorang_> and i did excited nak chat bcoz nak borak2 ngan u
[00:44] <_seseorang_> coz i tau u akan layan i nye merepek
[00:45] <_seseorang_> but at the moment mmg i need someone dgr my prob
[00:45] <_seseorang_> and u pun takleh make it for me
[00:45] <Steelburn> was it the time you called me?
[00:45] <_seseorang_> so? i just back off
[00:45] <_seseorang_> that nite
[00:45] <_seseorang_> yes
[00:46] <_seseorang_> but things already happen
[00:46] <Steelburn> i'm eally sorry for whatever happened back then.
[00:46] <_seseorang_> nvm
[00:46] <Steelburn> if you wanted to talk to me.
[00:46] <Steelburn> i couldn't. my phone sucks.
[00:46] <_seseorang_> i shouldnt pk yg u always there for me
[00:46] <Steelburn> i barely heard your voice.
[00:47] * Steelburn changed to a new phone already.
[00:47] <_seseorang_> ok
[00:47] <_seseorang_> but theres no new [_seseorang_]
[00:47] <_seseorang_> [_seseorang_] tetap [_seseorang_]
[00:47] <Steelburn> and.. i guess i call you back then, right?
[00:47] <Steelburn> but nobody answered.
[00:47] <_seseorang_> yeah
[00:47] <_seseorang_> utk pe?
[00:47] <_seseorang_> u r too bz
[00:47] <_seseorang_> i lupe i berkawan ngan smart person
[00:47] <_seseorang_> u nak cite pe ngan i?
[00:47] <_seseorang_> bout pc?
[00:48] <_seseorang_> bout ur work?
[00:48] <_seseorang_> satu apa pun i tatau
[00:48] <_seseorang_> mintak ampun bebyk
[00:48] <Steelburn> nope.
[00:48] <Steelburn> i don't talk much about work, unless initiated.
[00:48] <Steelburn> i only talk to myself. that's y i blog [_seseorang_].
[00:49] <Steelburn> because there's nobody to hear me.
[00:49] <Steelburn> ****isk***
[00:49] <_seseorang_> nvm zam
[00:49] <Steelburn> wish u could understand that.
[00:49] <_seseorang_> just be what u wanna b
[00:49] <_seseorang_> i try
[00:49] <_seseorang_> ive tried
[00:49] <_seseorang_> many times
[00:49] <_seseorang_> but one thing forsure
[00:49] <Steelburn> yeah?
[00:50] <_seseorang_> tade pe leh kembalikan ur old [_seseorang_]
[00:50] <Steelburn> :(
[00:50] <_seseorang_> and im sorry [_seseorang_] really sleepy
[00:50] <Steelburn> okay [_seseorang_]...
[00:51] <Steelburn> better go to sleep.
[00:51] <_seseorang_> ubat yg [_seseorang_] makan buat [_seseorang_] ngantuk
[00:51] <Steelburn> naper?
[00:51] <Steelburn> [_seseorang_] tgh tak sihat lagi ker?
[00:51] <_seseorang_> kinda
[00:52] <Steelburn> what kind of medication yg [_seseorang_] ambil tu?
[00:52] <Steelburn> pills?
[00:52] <_seseorang_> yerp
[00:52] <_seseorang_> gotta fever
[00:52] <_seseorang_> flu
[00:53] <Steelburn> [_seseorang_]...
[00:53] <Steelburn> gi ler tido.
[00:53] <_seseorang_> going to
[00:53] <Steelburn> btw.... would you allow me to call you sometimes?
[00:53] <_seseorang_> up to u
[00:53] <Steelburn> i know.. i won't get the same [_seseorang_]...
[00:53] <Steelburn> but, i don't want to lose a friend.
[00:53] <_seseorang_> yeah maybe
[00:54] <Steelburn> dunno la...
[00:54] <Steelburn> maybe i'd quit irc soon.
[00:54] <_seseorang_> 10 days to go
[00:54] <_seseorang_> im in uitm in the next 10 days
[00:54] <Steelburn> if i made a friend here.. and lose it. i'd better quit. it hurts.
[00:55] <_seseorang_> try not to lose it
[00:55] <_seseorang_> maybe u should try
[00:55] <_seseorang_> call me often
[00:55] <_seseorang_> just say hi
[00:55] <Steelburn> :)
[00:55] <_seseorang_> maybe
[00:56] <_seseorang_> maybe it will works
[00:56] <_seseorang_> but i tak gerenti
[00:56] <Steelburn> but won't you ignore my call then?
[00:56] <Steelburn> like it was back then.
[00:56] <_seseorang_> maybe
[00:56] <Steelburn> that made me backed off gak.
[00:56] <_seseorang_> depends
[00:56] <_seseorang_> but as u said b4 this
[00:56] <Steelburn> how about now?
[00:56] <_seseorang_> i should understand u too rite?
[00:56] <_seseorang_> now?
[00:56] <_seseorang_> what?
[00:56] <_seseorang_> call me?
[00:57] <Steelburn> nape?
[00:57] <Steelburn> x leh?
[00:57] <_seseorang_> as i said b4
[00:57] <_seseorang_> jgn la tanya permission
[00:59] <Steelburn> adess..
[00:59] <Steelburn> nak tanya gak.
[00:59] <_seseorang_> ske ati u la
[00:59] <_seseorang_> bye
[00:59] <Steelburn> bye.
[00:59] <Steelburn> nite
[01:00] <Steelburn> take good care of yourself [_seseorang_]....
[01:00] <Steelburn> tgh demam tu...
[01:00] <_seseorang_> u too
[01:00] <Steelburn> :)

Linux: How Far From Prime Time?

[mood: workaholic]
[listening to: the hisses of the air-cond]
[current project: find tunes]

This is a link to a 9/99 Linux Journal entry.
It's A Conversation with Craig Burton about Business Prospects for Linux. It's a good neutral read for both Linux and Microsoft Windows lovers. As for me, I post it here to make sure I'd be able to access the page later, just in case I forget the location.

who am I?

[01:03] <ChErIsH^ThE^LoVe> nape u r not the same zam yg 1st i kenal?
[01:04] <Steelburn> who's the first zam you used to know?
[01:04] <Steelburn> it wasn't me?
[01:04] No such nick/channel

A Day of Extinction

[mood: undetermined]
[listening to: sounds of keyboard clicks]
[current project: writing blog]


Heh... It was a chaotic day on Friday, as I was informed by colleagues, when the payroll system failed. All the blames went to everywhere except /dev/null. Heh
It was too, a day which I wasn't around to get the flames. It was pointless for me to be there tho, where all I can get are punishments of the sins I didn't make. But then, I was too, one of the people who had to be held liable of all the wrongs. Darn programmer! Darn the program! Darn everything else!

As of today, lots of employees didn't show up. They're like this, complainants. It's 7th of the month and they're already complaining like shit as if they didn't get the pay for months. When I was with former employer, we are used to late pays. It's normal for us to receive our paychecks after the second week of the month, yet we're still grateful. It's not that we're too complaisant, but we understand the circumstances faced by the people of the payroll.

Me? I did not intentionally absentiate [hackword... no definition] myself from work back then. I know. I have my responsibility. And... I also know, the limit of my body. I'm prone to rain-enabled disabilities. Heh... that's the term I coined up just now. It's a group of syndromes caused by polluted rain. As for me, the result is, I'd find myself unable to wake up... err... collapsed, without even a dream.
Thanks to increased susceptibility to acidic rain.

Today's a working day again... and here I am... at a place I now despise. Hahaha....

I'm counting to my day of extinction.

PS: I'm in the mood to place definitions of the words I use. Lucky t you.

I'm exhausted.

Google Search: define: exhausted

Dear ye,

I arrived back home at 3.15 in the morning last night. I've never made such record before -- burning the last of the candles that I have for the whole night. Yeah.. I am quite used to sleeping late but staying up late at home is different from staying up late at work. Man... it's really exhaustive. Previously, I stayed up to 2am and I was already exhausted. Now.. much more than that.

Result: I didn't go to work today.

What's more. The core of the payroll software is actually a shit. It doesn't work. Tho I had to modify lots of things to move the data from our Time Management System into the software; modify a lot more to make sure there's no error halting the calculation process; but still the most sinful error is the process itself. Man.... actually it churn out errors. The total's wrong. How could it be said as "WORKING"?

DAMMIT!!!

mE, mYseLf & i

mE, mYseLf & i

[mood: still wide awake]
[listening to: Linkin Park - Faint]
[current project: repair Payroll system]

No no no... this time it's not about me, myself & I. But it's about someone else's entry to the new world of personal journalism on the web. Welcome to the blogspace naZz....

Actually I don't intend to write tonight. My mind is tired enough to rest. So, here I am... back with IRC and new friends. Old friends, where are thou?