I want to quit - friendly weblog

I want to quit - friendly weblog

hello.
my moodswing masih tak betul lagi... PMS kot. gegege....
i switched off my mobile... from Saturday, May 8... till today.
Switch on pun sekadar nak baca SMS & voice mail. I even changed the 'offline message' to something else... yg lebih 'memuaskan hati'.
Bukan apa.... tak larat nak layan service call. Jap-jap ada call itu la... call ini la.... Unluckily.. I did (terpaksa suatu ketika dulu) bagi phone number kat orang (not my friends circle) and jadinya terpaksa pulak menjawab panggilan dan bergayut kat house phone for hours.
I'm tired.
I'm tired with a life I once chose.
I'm tired with something I'm now stuck with.
I'm tired of running away jugak.

Memang boleh dikatakan tengah running away jugak ni.
I ingat nak tukar bidang lak la... agak-agaknya ada can tak I keluar dari bidang komputer yg selama ini menjadi darah daging ni? Lemaknya dah pejal.
Kolestrolnya dah sukar dipecah-pecahkan. Dan bila dah berlemak... orang lain pun akan seolah-olah menambahlemakkan lagi.

I know what my weakness is. I tak sampai hati nak refuse permintaan orang. That killed me... and I died several times because of that.

One example...
Ada orang offer me to join this one company.. sbg partner. Paid-up (as of now) capital company 50K (only) and I akan ada kepentingan 49%... and I don't have to fork out a penny. There're conditions tho.... I've to sell my soul. No other commitment. I'll not be free anymore. What's money? To some people... it's half (not part) of their lives, some... even more. Me? I'd rather give 'em out to get my freedom... but... it's hard to refuse ppl whom had befriend me. This guy's 47y-o and he treats me as his peer. (He's a Chinese by the way.) I didn't think it'd be this much of a condition. Dammit. It's not the money yg I susah hati... it's the relationship that has been built before. He insisted with his condition. Kalau I refuse, I rasa I'd lose a friend. I lost a lot already and I don't want to add another. :(

If I'm gonna leave this... I know I should also leave my current job, my anything that's related to this guy in any way. Even a software development environment+computer language will be placed in my dustbin of life. People tends to ungkit this and that. I feel the flame already when I told him that it's crazy if I have to give all my time for him. I have 24-hours a day, 1 head, a pair of both hands and feet. I can be at one place at a time only.... and all for this?

I sold my soul to the devil? Tell me... did I?